Another Reason to Never Pass out at Google's House

So this article and corresponding photo was emailed to us from a friend of the Blacked Out Golfers earlier this morning. Shockingly enough, people get drunk and pass out all over the world! This concept should somehow be incorporated into a ride at Disneyland.

"When this drunken Aussie was shaken awake by police he prayed none of the neighbors had seen him collapsed on the curb. Unfortunately millions could gaze at his slumped form. For at the moment he passed out, Google's Street View camera car was filming in that corner of Melbourne. And the man - identified only as Bill, 46, - is not happy. The fisherman who had been drowning his sorrows at a funeral, said: "I wasn't thinking there would be someone driving by with a camera."

Thankfully, Google is not in a rush to get dark alleys and parking garages mapped out at 3 in the morning so I think my worries shall remain focused on staying alert enough to avoid all the horny transsexuals. Hell, that Aussie should quit complaining, at least the police found him before the wombats did.

Missing: Credit Card, Phone, Dignity

True to our name, this is the third Saturday in a row that I’ve been a varying level of blackout after a round of golf. This doesn’t happen at the course, but rather later that night when my body decides to stop even attempting to keep up with all the shit I keep pouring into it. This all falls well into my plan of dying before I turn 38. My liver does not find that joke amusing.

Anyhow, after passing out in an alley for a good bit of time late Saturday night, I finally stumbled my way to a cab and headed home. It was only there that I discovered my wallets and pockets were a little lighter. How is it that I always lose phones and credit cards after nights like these, and never my anal virginity? Certainly one of life’s greatest mysteries. I figure at this point I should start asking the government for tax credits for my phone donations to the homeless.